I never dreamed of a big wedding. I never dressed up and pretended about it when I was little. I really don't even care if I get married or not. I know I want kids eventually. I know I want to be with someone. For the longest time I was sure it was gonna be one person. Then for the last 6 years I could have swore it was gonna be another. Now I don't know.
The person I'm with now has alot of growing up to do. He has an addiction he has to kick. He has to change his attitude. I don't know if I can trust him. The person I was with, I can't trust. He has a differant lifestyle then me, but not one I don't want. I would have one life with one and a completly differant life with the other. Right now I don't know what I want. I really want my current relationship to work out, I really do. Although I like the thought of the other one.
I think I'm just bored. Its the same thing everyday. I need a change. I need to have something happen. I need something..... I'm just stuck here. I'm stuck living at home, stuck doing the same thing everyday. I like my job, that was my big change for the year. Going from the Nazi Camp to this place was a good move on my part. I'm gonna go to the beach Thursday. I need a change in sceanery for at least a day.
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